Hindsight

Sometimes I wonder what I have been doing throughout the year. Because it seems like I took a nap in January and woke up in Dec. Just like that. Time disappears. It doesn't just fly. Obviously in my case, it DISAPPEARS. I am over-whelmed. I have this habit of exchange my review of the year with my best friend. You know, summing up the year in a really long email, yes, you are right even though we update each other every other day. I kind of enjoy doing that because it makes me sit and think about the happenings in the year and whether it brings me any closer to where I want to be.

The sentiments remain rather similar over the years. This year is really special because so many things did not happen to me. And this year is really special. Really? Really. And no, I did not lose any weight that I set out to lose.

A really busy year
My last semester for the MBA program which sees me struggling with 5 modules + part time job. Yes, I finally graduated. Decently. And now I am supposed to be back to joining the workforce, the rat race, the whatever not. And yes, I no longer have any incentives of going back to textbooks. Now, all I ever read are crappy books once again.

Finding that special someone
I started the year with a resolution of finding that someone. You know, like putting in effort to smile, to socialise. And it paid off. Not just because I found someone but also because I do enjoy smiling now. I would like to think that I had become a better person to be with. Frankly, I never thought that something this insignificant is going to help because I am pretty convinced that this year like every other year, I will not find anyone. And mum was right, boys do drop from heaven. Praise the lord for that. You make me want to try.

The weddings
They are not mine. But I helped with some parts of two of my really good friends' weddings. Perhaps because it wasn't mine that's why it is exciting. I can see the bliss on their faces and that makes me really happy. Beautiful dresses and glamorous ballrooms apart, all I really ever wish to see is that they are happy. Nothing else really matters. Oh, wearing white does matter a little. Not much. Just a little.

Moving on
I had problems moving on previously. Emotions control me instead of the other way round. Letting go of my father was a hard thing to do. I am still adapting to life without him. And I think I am improving. He left me a very sensitive person. I can feel people's emotions just looking at them, they make a difference in my life. I wish I make a difference in their lives too, it doesn't matter if they don't remember me. I like my low-profile lifestyle the way it is. The fact is that I love life. In fact now more than ever. I want the chance to see my mum grows old, my sisters grow up. I sound like I am dying right? Not yet, at least not now. I hope.















I have seen better days, been through worse times.